Thursday, 3 November 2016

Understanding Black Male Culture (Continued)

The substitution of black women in the black framework
Most black men are ready, quick and willing to substitute any other woman for black women within black female historical roles as mothers of the black race, partners in the struggle for emancipation and the building of a black culture, or their place in creating and enjoying black wealth and infrastructure - there is a strong argument that black men are happy for black women to labour to create wealth but not to partake when the rewards of their labour start coming in, which is the point when many black men feel they need to substitute black women for others. Black women seem interchangeable with any other women even when it comes to 'sacred black things', for black men while at the same time black women overwhelmingly insist that certain 'black things' cannot be done without the participation of black men.

I was recently watching a program about the first black bookshop/printing house in London (as October past is black history month in the UK). Of course the men behind it were 'black nationalist' who went up and don the land talking about white oppression and white washing of black history and contribution. But who did these men choose to partner with in this unique endeavour of building 'something black'. You guessed it, these black men choose to build 'black infrastructure' that would suggest a need for intimate black male and female partnership instead with white females. 

Imagine the outrage if a white man and black women had cooperated on a very intimate black project as that project was in the days of out and out white racism and black oppression. First of all the white partner would have had to be silent and invisible for such to work. But in this case the black men went all over the country doing the critical work distributing and doing PR with the white partner in tow.

This is why the legacy of many such notable black male activists like CLR James, Bernie Grant, the much quoted Franz Fanon (who married no less than two white women in succession but spoke 'eloquently' about the desperation of black men under the boot of white oppression) just to name a few of such 'mighty' black male activist in UK, are in the hands of white women and or the children they had with them. Many now go by the nomenclature 'of African descent' because they look very removed from black that they are just not 'believable' when as black.

Black women have fooled themselves for years that they are critical and vital to black men in the building of blackness, black progress and black infrastructure, even as black men have gone out of their way to demonstrate that nothing could be further from the truth.

White people and other onlookers who are unaware of internal black gender politics see this type of cooperation between black men and white women as a wonderful expression of black and whites in harmony. Or they see the white women as being open minded and anti-racist. They very rarely see or they ignore the rejection and marginalisation of black womanhood that is clear from the activities of black men. They don't see black men are 'substituting' black women for white and others and the inherent racism in this action.

The prizing of whiter womanhood
Another feature of black male culture is the placing of premium on lighter hued women from lighter black women up to white. They do this in ways that are obvious to wider society which has picked up on on black men's obsessions. Their actions in this regard does indeed undermine black womanhood- there is no denying it- as It entrenches a negative perception of black womanhood, the reasoning being that if the men closest to black women prefer, to a very observable extent, other women (unlike men of most races), then something is obviously off with black women and their female attributes. This has been the hard to counter argument put forward by the likes of Steve Sailer as far back as the 1990's. The only way to counter this and dispel the negative cloud as a result of black men's activities is for black omen to pursue aggressively their own interracial options and show they too have broader appeal. This can be very effective if black women secure meaningful relationships with dominant males from other males which they often do.

Saturday, 8 October 2016

Understanding Black male Culture

The current black cultural milieu is one which has been essentially decided by black males. It has specific features to it that simply align with 'what black men want to do'.

I was watching a video a few days ago where a young black man had punched out an older black man at a train station somewhere in the USA.The Video has done the rounds with many people cursing out the young black man and pronouncing that Karma would be sure to visit him soon. The thing that caught my attention however was a young lady on the train who goes from a state of surprise at the black man's actions but then suddenly becomes caught up in the reactions of those giving kudos and laughing at the old mans fate. Very soon she too was making similar noises, laughing and joking about what is clearly a horrific event.

It made me think deeply about how black women get swept up into black men's agenda, especially their very selfish agenda and instead of pushing back or raising a standard against these men's activities they get caught up and become cheer leaders, nurses, supporters of black male culture including co-signing, black women hating activities like their loudly proclaimed preferences for non-black women.

Many BWE writers have spoken about black women keeping a very large distance from the current crop of black men and I think this is wise, however some of us will not be able to flee that far, maybe because we live in a small compact city or our work environment include these men. There are a number of attitudes of mind that can save a black woman the heart ache of disappointment and dashed dreams.

A solitary black man at work may not show black male cultural to a high degree but when two or three black men are in a place they will generate 'black male culture.' If there are a couple pf besotted clueless black women fawning over them the black culture vide will magnify. You will need to recognise black male cultural attributes and features in order to successfully navigate it.

The first thing to understand about black male culture is that it is antagonistic to black womanhood. Deeply. The downfall and humiliation of black women among spectators of other races and ethnicities is a coveted goal.

I don't notice this tendency among newly arrived African Migrant communities but the average metropolitan black male will look for the chinks in any black female colleagues armour. And black women make it all too easy for them with their trusting, deferential and even adoring approach to anything black male.

Second and relatedly, black males are totally self aggrandizing. It is not about race, community, black family. It is about No 1. I was recently reading an article with the actor David Oyelowo talking about the lack of diversity and in every place where he said 'black actor,' I knew he simply meant black male actor. When these men 'make it' you can be sure their wealth will not directly make the life of a black woman comfortable and happy.

David Oyelowo and Family

There is no trickle down or trickle around effect when black men hop on all these 'diversity' trains created to help black people out.

One reason why black people remain 'down' isn't because of racism, it is because black men have become drain-away-pipes to wealth and resources which are suppose to circulate and enrich the proverbial black community. Many white folk are now tired of 'black programs', and are running out of patients because none of them 'take.' Instead black folks come back with more 'demands' and 'grievances'.    

Black men feed off everyone else's sympathy (and are quite good in manipulating black women's emotions and sympathy). They are very good at engendering sympathy and support for their plight and thus becoming the focus for a whole bunch of money and resources to 'help him out'. Meanwhile black women are suffering more and even getting crushed under the heels of these same black males that generate so much concern among white and other folks. Black men are very good at turning all sorts of programs devoted to equality and levelling the playing field towards one of personal gain and even making black women look like one of the oppressors to boot!

To be continued

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Yes it's been 10 years!


Amazing how time flies.

10 years ago this month I took my first tentative step in articulating the philosophy that has branched out to become known as BWE (black women empowerment).

In 2006 I was on a board for black folk commenting with great passion about the injustice against black women. I was subsequently thrown out unceremoniously. The black mammy mules had had a field day with me, rubbishing my very arguments about the unfairness of black women's situation in the so called black community. The deep hatred and ill will against black women permeated the site in a way that I couldn't quite get my head around. I thought I was alone in noticing the gross injustice of black women's situation given how many folk had piled on me and told me I was hallucinating. Little did I know that I had actually had my first taste of the blackistan DBR mentality which we all know about quite well in these circles. I couldn't believe how sold to their own slavery the black women who commented on that site were. I decided then that my voice might just be one but I would preach and shout about a new era for black women in dating and in living life to the full.

But I wasn't alone, someone had silently watched what had happened on that black website (they left my blog link up which was a stoke of luck or oversight or something, but I suspect the owner in her heart of hearts knew the truth of what I was saying and was tacitly allowing my point of view to be aired even while maintaining a strong black woman, NBABM persona). Anyway Evia Moore from blackfemaleinterracialmarriage had seen my valiant but futile struggle and had followed me back to my fumbling beginnings of a blog. She set up hers too and we became the first two in what is possibly now a line up of a 100 or more so blogs that have preached and still preach on the topic of BWE.

We've had great times. We've had blow out battles. We've had betrayals. But the messages moves on and up and black women profit and take steps towards more abundant living.

I have moved blogs from where is all started Date a white Guy and I now delve more into the team of abundant living strategies (as opposed to just interracial dating for black women).

Thanks to everyone who had made our movement a success, because it is. I may not know you but if you have done anything to lift black women out of the life of lack and misuse that she has been assigned by her race and those beyond I say Solidarity!

To another 10 years!

H Anderson

Friday, 1 July 2016

Isn't it Funny...

Isn’t it funny how black women who oppose black men dating white women and others are told:
Let black men be with whoever they want, stop expecting them to be exclusive to you because they are black.

We as black women are told:
Stop leaning on your familial relationship with black men to insist they date black women alone.

Funny how those same black men will ignore all other races and colors to come ‘Lean on me,’ the sole black women at the bus stop, when they need a dime because they are homeless and hungry.

Friday, 27 May 2016

Black men are bullies and black boys are also bullies

I watched a black school boy throw a black girls very expensive phone to the ground, in some sort of supposed horse play and I realised that black boys are bullies. Black boys represent a bully class to black girls. Under the cover of play fighting, I have seen many a black boy unleash some of the worst viciousness on black girls. It is truly time for black mothers and guardians to tell their girls they must not play with black boys. Black men are bullies to black women so no surprises then that black boys begin to catch on soon enough.

The Mowrys

What do bullies do?
Bullies focus in on your weaknesses and in this case on black women's social vulnerabilities and insecurities about beauty standards, weight, femininity, hair acceptance. They both exacerbate and use these against black women in social contexts. Black women already have enough problem in a society fighting prejudice. This is the reason black girls need to do two things.

1) They need to be 'on point' in how they present themselves
2) Avoid black boys or have very steep standards for them.

Black boy bullies also teach others how they should treat/relate to black women so increasingly, we see people from 'out groups' with knowledge of intimate things about black women with which to cause them hurt and pain.
Bullies also do things just for the heck of it, to make themselves feel big at the expense of their targets and it is no news to black women how black men engage in senseless attacks on the femininity and womanhood of black women. 

If you are a young school girl, deciding to personally up your game in terms of your presentation will help you dodge being a ready target for black boys to mock or tear down (not that they wont try). It is indeed a heavy burden to place on black girls at a time in life they should be carefree and able to try out various ideas and identities but the wider body of black women have fallen down in this area. It is a problem that black women to a large extent do not wear their own hair. Others have noticed and it is the source of a lot of disrespect directed at black women.

Many black women and some black men have pointed out that white men and men of other ethnicities do not clown their women or go out of their way to say nasty things about the femininity of their women especially in public (indeed if black women think they are experiencing value depreciation they need to look to the antics of black men because it is a big part of the story). They are right in this observation (white women to some extent engage in tearing down white men but white men can compensate by still being the King of the hill). This means black women must skill up and 'evolve' in their strategies to counter this known threat emanating from black men and boys.

Monday, 2 May 2016

You Must Remember how you worked it out the last time

You must remember how you succeeded in the past so you can repeat the process when you have to.

I love 'How to' beauty Videos.

I thank God for these young and older women alike who take the time out to show us new methods of doing our hair and make-up. My routine has been transformed, but not only that, I find myself with a renewed motivation to do my face again in the morning. It is so therapeutic, to take that extra ten minutes to present yourself well. I lost that in my busyness and lack of priorities for a while. Ladies I don't think there is anything more important than presenting yourself wonderfully to the world each morning. People may pretend that they like you warts and all (read: men say they like you warts on all), but watch them look at you differently when you bring on your A game!

Don't be carried away by what people say! These days people say all the politically correct things while doing the exact opposite! Instead understand that humans have been on this planet for tens of thousands of years, and the chance of studying human nature, our basic attitudes etc has resulted in a great body of knowledge about human behaviour that we can put to our benefit. The knowledge of how to win is out there, quit Bs'ing and read, be informed and apply the knowledge!

Anyway I had a teaching/teachable moment recently and I sum it up by saying, 'Don't forget how you made things work out in the past; those little lessons you learned or learn as you go through life, they must be committed to paper (video, dictation machines etc etc), so you don't forget useful lessons and short cuts to success.

I am one who likes to reinvent the wheel, that's for sure. I hop onto a new approach even when the old one is effective because I believe there can be a better way (and it is necessary to indeed refresh your methods from time to time), but it can also mean I forget very critical lessons about myself and what works for me.

Case in point: A couple of years ago I happened upon a very effective way of keeping my acne at bay. It was and is a very unconventional method and not one that Doctors would recommend but it worked for me where nothing else came close. I happened on it by trial and error i.e. a thousand hours, dollars and products went into me discovering the best way to rid my skin of pimples and give it a smoother look.  Bearberry soap kept on all night every other day. Yes it is a strange method but it worked and friends who knew me with my blotchy face stopped me to ask, how come I looked bright and spotless. 

One would think that now that I had figured out 'my way' to a smooth skin afters years of horrid rash like outbreaks and spending thousands, I would cling to the method like white on rice but no after a few wonderful months I went after the next fad, until one day I can say I couldn't even remember how I had gotten my acne under control. I remember sending off the crucial element of my success, the bearberry soap, to a charity shop, wondering why and how I managed to accumulate so many bars of the stuff in my draw. This was the same time as I was beginning again to get the rash like skin on my face with the attendant black marks.

Something must have jolted my mind a couple of months later. One morning I jumped from bed and realized I had to go search for bearberry soap (mornings and just before you wake are wonderful times to recollect and get new ideas). After going round a couple of retailers I realized that they didn't produce the stuff much any more. When I did lay my hands on the last two bearberry soaps possibly in London I was overjoyed. And yes the trick is working again.

There are things you have learnt about yourself: how your body works, what you like or dislike, your reactions etc that only you know and can figure out. And your body is teaching you these if you can pay attention and observe. You need to keep this knowledge handy because no doctor or psychologist will give you these nuggets about yourself and when you work with this intimate knowledge of you and your body it is easier to take on your life in a winning manner. Someone told me that if they eat before 10 am it triggers binge eating later on. This is a splendid bit of personal knowledge which has no doubt come after many years observing themselves in their relationship to food, and it will help them in their weight loss goals.

What are the little nuggets of ideas that you have learnt about yourself and how can it help you achieve your goals?

Saturday, 27 February 2016

Black 'kept' men: Black women have dodged a bullet

I am coming across more and more 'kept' black men in my social circles. It's scary, but now I know why there are so many black men vagrants about the place with no home and no connections worth a dime. Truth is a gigolo has a sell by date and many black men just don't know how to close a deal when they need to, they often drag the 'why buy the cow' situation on and on until one day they get the boot.

Hannah Bronfman and Brendan Falls

Case in point: a friend of mine, gave me the long story of how her son ended up with a white woman. She said that he complained that black girls were hard and gave them (black boys) a tough time (as opposed to white women who said 'Yes' at the first time of asking I suppose). Well anyway it seems this black man drifted on into a relationship with a white women and suddenly Miss woman was pregnant (she claimed it was an accident). With the pregnancy happening Mr 'I refuse to construct a vision for myself', thought 'well I suppose it's all set out for me to be with her'. So they set up house and he started to pay his side of the bills etc etc, but they remain unmarried. I warned the woman that paying the monthly note on a house with her name would leave her son with nothing very shortly. I asked her, 'why cant black men just wise up a bit and legalize things instead of drifting and letting fate or nature decide what next'. She shrugged and said it wouldn't matter if he got chucked out because, 'she would be happy to have him back'. Mess.

However the most concerning one for me was how black young boys are being sapped of ambition and focus by becoming kept men. Another acquaintance talked about how her son was dumped by his ambitious black girlfriend for being a layabout and not deciding to go to college or start a trade. Lo and behold along comes a rich spoilt Asian girl who took a shine to him and suddenly she is buying him his clothes, breaking him off some chump change, paying their all expense trip to Caribbean etc etc. So the young laybout has a go ahead to be..more of a lay about with no ambition and no plans. I cringe at this because it will not end well for this young man. To be encouraged to have no ambition at that age is a killer. The saddest thing here is that this lay about boy comes from a two parent family with a hardworking father who works all hours for the upkeep of his family.

You know, come to think of it, I know quite a number of cases where these black men are living off non-black girlfriends to some extent or the other. I know another white woman who hasn't seen a black man she doesn't want to >>> off, she collects black men like coupons moving on from one to another in quick succession. So embarrassing especially I have seen her drag obviously reluctant black boyfriends to family events etc, to force them into a 'relationship' status before they are ready!

Something horrible seems to be happening to white identity especially white girls quick to offer themselves to pimps, terrorists and etc in their infatuation with all men brown. There have been a number of cases of white girls running off to ISIS and what have you with their brown skinned paramour who has no doubt told them how evil the white Christian society is. And then she ends up in Raqqa where brown skin folk are doing more evil than whites could ever dream of. Some women I know are ready to shop their decent parents to the police if they dare raise any objections or even comment on their dating habits. Most of these decent white middleclass parents are held to ransome and can't even comment or make rightful observations about the race obsession of their daughters. If they dare, they become the racists, evil parents who have something against blackness. I remember one white mum confiding in me how afraid she was that her daughter would not get married because she had gone through dozens of such guys and moved them into her apartment in rapid time, dotted on them and played wifey yet none had seen it important to wife her up. All this time her school mates where marrying and starting families.

And then come see how these white women become all 'black people identified', talking about how all white people are evil and blacks are the poor put upon folk who must be defended at all costs.

In conclusion, while many black women will no doubt think they are 'loosing' black men, I suggest they consider that instead they are dodging bullets and then quickly strive to replace these losers with earnest men of good character from every other race and ethnicity available.